What? No Pictures?
December 26 is always a fun day for me. For years now my family has resorted to getting me gift cards from Borders, Barnes & Noble, or the Capitola Book Cafe. I have a tendency to just buy books whenever, wherever, on a whim, so gift cards are safe.
So there I am in the Borders in Santa Cruz. Having taken care of a couple exchanges, it is "me" time. I haven't read much fantasy in the last three or four years, and lately have been on a minor kick for it. I'm perusing the stacks, and as I reach the M's & N's, there is a couple (have no idea of status, friends, lovers, siblings?) near the T's.
Now, never mind that one or both of them radiated some strong B.O. in a 9 foot radius. I'm above all that. Right.
She points out the Tolkien books.
You know, The Lord of the Rings? Pretty good book, really, no?
The youngish blond lady tells her portly S.O., "These are terrible. They are way too confusing. You have no idea what anything means. The movies were good, because you could see what they were talking about. But when he writes some name, you don't know if it's a person, or a place, or a weapon, or some law."
No, I kid you not. Actual quote.
Then she added the coup de grace.
"How can you know what he's talking about without the pictures to help you?"
I'm sorry, lady, but I have one question for you and your buddy:
What the FUCK are you doing in the SciFi and Fantasy section? In fact, what are you doing in a bookstore at all? Shouldn't you be at the video store? Oh, what am I thinking? You can go to the other side of Borders and find lots of piccies.
It was everything I could do not to bitch-slap her. I had an urge to buy the trilogy for the fella and tell him to just freakin' read it and don't listen to her.
Sure, it's not the most transcendant piece of literature in the world, but among the fantasy genre, it's still a work of art.
Pictures... indeed!
Frodo Lives!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Another MeMe
1. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Closed. Kids wander.
2. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Beautiful and sunny.
3. What kind of winter coat do you own?
A few: A Raiders jacket with a hood, a jacket with my work logo that is very comfy, and a Ben Davis black trench coat, which I don't think they make anymore.
4. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
This morning.
5. Where do you keep your change?
Little change pocket above right jeans pocket.
6. Describe your keychains?
Car remote and kangaroo shaped bottle-opener that has become an everything-tool.
7. What is your favorite flavor of jelly?
Probably strawberry, and prefer jam to jelly...
8. Some things you are excited about?
Christmas. Love Christmas. My son's progress in karate. The upcoming work year looks good. My screenplay is going pretty well and I'm hoping to get it in circulation early this year... other things.
9. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yeah.
10. Have you ever been in a planetarium?
Yeah, in Reno, NV.
11. Have you ever received one of those big tins with three kinds of popcorn?
Every year. Yum. I love stale buttered popcorn.
12. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
No way. Yuck. Crusty.
13. Any plans for Friday night?
Yeah, my brother and his fiancee are planning some sort of get-together.
14. What is out your back door?
Patio with loud, stupid, yip dog on it.
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've ever had?
Wisdom teeth. All four. Ow.
16. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Uh, no. In the snow? Uhhhh, maybe?
17. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
Soul Asylum *note to self: read carefully...
18. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?
Always.
19. How many different beverages have you had today?
Three, Coke Zero, Coca-Cola, Lemonade.
20. Last thing you recieved in the mail?
My new copy of Fritz 10.
21. Have you had to take out a loan for school?
For me, no. Didn't finish college. For my wife, yes. Just paid it off last year. Only took ten years, LOL.
22. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Me? No. My wife? Ben Franklin, the Coffins, Starbucks, Macy, Folgers, etc., from Nantucket. If you've read Moby Dick, the characters and names in there are based on her distant relatives.
23. Your prom night?
No prom. Winter formal, with woman who is now my wife. Quite fun, but not worth repeating. Those just aren't out sort of parties.
24. Do you know all the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
No. It's a song by Eric Whitacre, and I don't remember all the lyrics.
24. Are you any good at math?
Yeah, quite, but I don't enjoy math too much.
25. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Sitting my six-year-old in the naughty chair.
26. What were you doing this morning at 8 AM?
Getting ready for church.
27. When was the last time you shaved?
Daily.
28. Explain what ended your last relationship.
Hmmm? I was fourteen. That was 25 years ago. She was a weirdo, but she dumped me, which makes me even more of a weirdo, or too normal.
Okay, that was kinda dumb.
Posted by Looney @ 8:37 PM