What? No Pictures?

December 26 is always a fun day for me. For years now my family has resorted to getting me gift cards from Borders, Barnes & Noble, or the Capitola Book Cafe. I have a tendency to just buy books whenever, wherever, on a whim, so gift cards are safe.

So there I am in the Borders in Santa Cruz. Having taken care of a couple exchanges, it is "me" time. I haven't read much fantasy in the last three or four years, and lately have been on a minor kick for it. I'm perusing the stacks, and as I reach the M's & N's, there is a couple (have no idea of status, friends, lovers, siblings?) near the T's.

Now, never mind that one or both of them radiated some strong B.O. in a 9 foot radius. I'm above all that. Right.

She points out the Tolkien books.

You know, The Lord of the Rings? Pretty good book, really, no?

The youngish blond lady tells her portly S.O., "These are terrible. They are way too confusing. You have no idea what anything means. The movies were good, because you could see what they were talking about. But when he writes some name, you don't know if it's a person, or a place, or a weapon, or some law."

No, I kid you not. Actual quote.

Then she added the coup de grace.

"How can you know what he's talking about without the pictures to help you?"

I'm sorry, lady, but I have one question for you and your buddy:

What the FUCK are you doing in the SciFi and Fantasy section? In fact, what are you doing in a bookstore at all? Shouldn't you be at the video store? Oh, what am I thinking? You can go to the other side of Borders and find lots of piccies.

It was everything I could do not to bitch-slap her. I had an urge to buy the trilogy for the fella and tell him to just freakin' read it and don't listen to her.

Sure, it's not the most transcendant piece of literature in the world, but among the fantasy genre, it's still a work of art.

Pictures... indeed!

Frodo Lives!