I. Don't. Care.

I don't care.

More Stars Turn on Tom Cruise

I don't care. Mild double entendre mildly entertaining. But I don't care.

Jen is Over Brad

Don't care. Why does everyone like that useless rag she calls hair? Oh, wait, don't care.

Angelina Adopts

WGAF? Not me.

Oprah's Fat

Yawn.

Kirstie's Fatter



Barbra Streisand Has an Opinion

Tums?

Rush Limbaugh Took a Pill

Taxi!

Nick is leaving Jessica

Gawd... don't care.

J Lo's arse is a f'ing zeppelin

Do

Tom Hanks Earns 114th Oscar

Not

Russell Crowe Strangles a Puppy

CARE!

AUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I don't CARE. And if you DO care, you're a mindless shill, you're an asexual slug, you are useless. If you vote, your right to do so should be revoked. If you are a parent, your children should be taken away. If you work, you should be fired, and if you eat, you should be starved until you waste away to the quivering lump of nothing you truly are.

Who are these people? Do they not piss and crap the same way we do? Are they not as flummoxed by their own popularity as we are by our own belly button lint? Do they not realize that lightning has simply struck and they were in the way?

Worse, who are those who lose their souls for these self-involved schmucks? Who sits there and reads the Enquirer looking for every tidbit about the famous and semi-so? Who really wants to see Britney's damn cellulite?

I have come to despise celebrity, and moreso those who think it bestows some special power, knowledge, or wisdom on themselves, when the truth is that it insulates them from reality to the point that they lose the ability to evaluate their own character, and more to the point, the character of others.

Find me a celebrity who truly realizes that, whoa, I don't deserve this. I might have worked hard, but so did 100,000 other arseholes who are still busting their humps waiting tables, working far harder than any of these "Oh, the long days on the set are just KILLING me!" schmucks. I'm simply here, and I'm fortunate, and I'm just going to take it in stride and enjoy it.

I don't think I'll ever see it. Not because it isn't out there, but because...

I. Don't. Care.