Is More Really Better?
 
Was watching A&E last evening, for a special entitled "Inside Polygamy."
 
What a bunch of nutters.  Okay, perhaps that's a little disrespectful, but maigawsh, I can't imagine trying to carry on such a life.
 
I have my hands full with one wife.  Sometimes she gets maaaad at me when I don't pay her enough attention, don't listen, forget to follow through on something I committed to do, etc.  Can you imagine if I got her maaaad because I was boffing around with one of the other wives?  Holy smokes...
 
Besides that, though, I found it eminently fascinating for a several reasons:
 
1.  The men interviewed, whether "Mormon" or "Christian" polygamists, unwaveringly referenced some direct level of leading or revelation from God to support their lifestyle.  There don't seem to be any humanist/atheist polygamists.  I imagine it's because no well-adjusted thinking woman would put up with that crap, but I digress... 
 
2.  Most of the women alluded to specific outlets for and struggles with jealousy.  No kidding.  Even the women who were sitting together talking about how they dealt with it and everyone's now pretty happy...  Well, maybe I'm projecting, but I thought I saw daggers everywhere.
 
3.  Many of the women also spoke of "obedience" [to the man] being a lynchpin to their ability to cope with the lifestyle.   Obedience?  My wife would laugh her arse off.  While I may "wear the pants" in our household, I do so by the will of the governed, so to speak :-)  If we can't agree on something after much discussion (very rare, but it happens) and if I really don't think I can defer to her viewpoint, then she gives me the last word (note the "gives" part of that.  Important.)  Of course, I also bear the responsibility in the matter too.
 
In other words, when the poopy hits the fanny, it's all my fault.  Our marriage is a partnership, and I think that's biblical, not this polygamy nonsense... oops, getting ahead of myself...
 
4.  It's very hard to document, because the lifestyle itself is quite hidden, but there appears to be a frightening undercurrent of sexual abuse.  Authorities think it's rampant in the community, but can't actually prove it.  To me this is likely a given.  When you start blowing off taboos, who's to say which go and which stay.  The personal accounts of abuse from a couple of interviewees are excruciating.
 
5.  And after watching this expose, which seemed fairly evenhanded to my eyes, I think polygamy is more about sex than the more religious of these nutters will admit.  They say they're doing what's necessary to enter their celestial kingdom.  Sure, but I'll bet they're also thinking, "Man, I can get laid by several different women year round.  Woohoo."  What guy wouldn't think that nice, at least on the surface of things?
 
6.  There were several sequences showing these "extended" (perhaps expanded is a better word) families living life in the big home, and they looked remarkably peaceful and well-adjusted.  Not that dad would allow it any other way.  But I know my own life, while meaningful and satisfying in many ways, is still a torrent of misgivings, missteps, and constant conflicts.  It is impossible to have that many people in the mix and not have some rip-roarers when the cameras are all gone.
 
Well, I've gone and mixed up observation and opinion, but who cares?  It's my freakin' blog.
 
Anyhow, this lifestyle seems exceedingly unhealthy by my own standards, but I'm finding it difficult to understand the purpose of criminalizing these folks.  It is their religious belief, however misguided I may think them to be.  I imagine you'd have to structure the tax code to not overburden the monogamous by making polygamy an attractive tax shelter :-)
 
On the other hand, isn't the purpose of a democratic society to allow the population to legislate a commonly acceptable morality?  If so, where does one draw the line?  If more and more people find polygamy a quaint little fringe lifestyle, does that make it right?  Homosexual marriage is really along the same lines.  If more and more people find it acceptable, does that make it right?  Where do we draw the line?  Why are some peoples' sexual desires acceptable and others' not?  I think you can see where this might be going, but I don't want to take it there, because that rabbit trail is too repulsive for words...
 
Suffice to say, it was thought provoking, and I've rambled nonsensically quite enough, thank you.  Watch it for yourself the next time it comes on...