It's allergy season, and I've been an allergic wreck all week. Sneeze-hack-cough-snort-snif-shnarf... Not pretty.

The Claritin has kicked in, so it's not so bad, though it hasn't gone completely away. Generally speaking I'm allergic to pretty much everything that grows. I don't have any food allergies to speak of (one minor exception exists, see below) and I have no medicine allergies. Just pollen and dander.

The allergies were serious. I did three stints in the hospital over it during my childhood, and had to carry an inhaler during my teens.

When I was five I had a scratch test. Don't remember that one. When I was ten and had to change allergists I had another one.

I remember that one. That was a bitch. For those who've never had a scratch test, it's basically legalized medieval torture. Nowadays I believe it's not so... nasty. But back in the olden days, they would draw a grid on your back. IIRC, I went through two batteries of tests on two different days, but it was a long time ago. Then they would put little scratches on your back with a sharp little stupid sharp thingie. But that wasn't the torture. No, then they'd drop pure serum made from whatever the fuck they wanted to test your reaction to. But you could NOT scratch. I reacted to 64 of the 69.

They weren't done, of course. Nope. Then we went into the other room. The nice nurse took my right arm, and between shoulder and elbow wrote the numbers 1 through 17. She moved to my left and wrote the numbers 18 through 34.

Guess what they did with those. Nope, no more tests. Just shots. Thirty four shots. M&*&$%F*&$ERS!! Bad day.

The beauty of it is I repeated it AGAIN when we moved back to California and to a new allergist. I stopped desensitization when I turned 18. I ain't going back.

Of course that means I suffer through seasons like this one.

Since that's on my brain, it's now on my blog. Thirteen things Looney's allergic to:

1. Cats

2. Alfalfa

3. Acacia Trees

4. Crab Grass

5. Chocolate

6. Dandelions

7. Apple Blossoms

8. Dogs

9. Ragweed

10. Molds (lots of 'em)

11. Dust mites

12. Elm Trees

13. Bluegrass (the grass, not the music!)

One of the worst of the above for me is Alfalfa. Did I mention that when I was seven my mother moved us to an alfalfa ranch?

I think she was trying to kill me.