Thursday, March 08, 2007

Inflagrante Predicto #1 - Results!

Okay, it's time for another round. But first to adjudicate:

Entry #1 Paula
The U.S. will bomb Iran.
Nope. Almost a little surprised, though.

Entry #2 Ole Blue
The US will bomb Iran causing global condemnation.
Paula beat you to it, but it's a no anyway.

The outcome: The American population will start demanding that our Military come home NOW! Congress will order troops home and Bush will declare victory.
Well, there are wavings and weavings in that direction, but since it didn't happen in February, you're out.

Iraq will become allied with Iran and be more of a threat to the United States than Sadam ever was a threat.
We're not there yet.

The democrats will win the election by a landslide in 2008 including both the congress and senate.
Dammit, Blue, in February! LOL

Historians will rate the Bush Presidency as the worst and most toxic. Bush will never be able to rehabilitate his image.
This was already happening and is ongoing. Dang it.

He will drink himself to death in twenty years from now. His wife will always maintain that he was a great man but his daughters will never talk about their dad especially his presidency.
LOL, how the fuck is he going to drink himself to death in twenty years in February? Sounds more like LBJ, anyway...

8 years after the death of Bush, who will not be given a State funeral, his Daughter Barbara will become a congressional representative from Texas as a democrat. Her Motto will be “Stop doing stupid things.”
[shaking head]
Someone has got to read the rules next time!

Entry #3 Supersnark
Sen. Biden will be outed as having an illegitimate black child. But at least it will be "clean".
Dang, I was hoping this one would come true!

Entry #4 Sour Grapes
Google will suffer a massive crash, leaving half the civilised world unable to blog, search, consult their calendars, Froggle, Picasa or do anything useful for totally hours, wiping billions off the stock market and bringing the economy to a halt so totally and so abruptly that many people will think the Rapture has come, leading to chaos when all the big-mouthed born-again Fred Phelps types realise they haven't been Taken Up. Google will be back only hours later, but people's faith will be gone.
Uh, no.

Entry #5 Mark
Gavin Newsom will crash and burn as a politician and resign as mayor of San Francisco.
Ah, so close! He crashed and burned, but in true San Francisco fashion, he's still the mayor.

Entry #6 JennyJinx
You said "easily provable"? Ok, well, I predict by the end of the month there will be massive amounts (6 inches or more) of snow fall from Montana down to Kansas and East to Maine (but not necessarily as far south as North Carolina). I also predict that some weather caster somewhere will call this one of the nastiest winters we've ever had.
Okay, for one, six inches is NOT a massive amount of snow. Six feet, maybe? Anyway, I did find several folks calling this one of the nastiest winters we've ever had, or a reasonable facsimile. So, in the interest of being fair, I'm going to put our first and very last weather guess into the win column.

Entry #7 Asbestos Dust
Prediction: Blue will continue to whine about Bush well into the second term of the next Democratic presidency, by which time the Dems will have single-handedly destroyed civilization as we know it after which maurading bands of welfare mutants finally take him (Blue) out and mash his head with a rock for the meat.
If I have to say "in February" one more time...

Oh, that's one a' them "baby crapping himself" predictions, innit? And out past Feb, too. Whoops, my bad. OK, how about this 'un:
Ah, finally...

Some Mexican high up in the DNC Hispanic Caucus says some incredibly stupid bullshit and Howard Dean has to bitch-slap him till his ears ring to get him herded back into the brown ghetto, or "la pluma en Capitol Colena" as it's known to its denizens. Yeah, I know it's already happened, in fact RECENTLY happened, but it will happen again. They just can't help it. With "English as a (distant) Second Language," they just can't grasp what dickheads they're making of themselves until one of the white field bosses like Dean explains it to 'em by way of a quick, painful visit to el almacenaje de madera (the woodshed).
Plus I know Dean didn't actually bitchslap anyone.

Entry #8 JodieK
The evening of the second Wednesday of February will see an unusual influx of single woman, sans panties, storming fine bars and restaurants nationwide to indulge in several dirty martinis and much pinot noir.
Britney does not an unusual influx make. Sorry.

Entry #9 Joe the Troll
Fox news will finally be held accountable for passing lies off as "journalism".
As if. You're out.

Entry #10 Dawn
Paris hilton, lindsey lohan and britney spears will get run over by a bus. that's my prediction. and my dream.
Sadly, no.

Entry #11 Brave Sir Throckey
I predict Sir Throckey will finally break down and start writing for his blog.
Allow me to quote rule #1 "Outside of your sphere of influence." You're out.

So! We have one winner, sort of, but I'm being kind and generous. Congrats! Watch your inbox, Jenny! I'll have round 2 up shortly, and mind you, the rules are going to be a little more... specific.


It's about me, dummy!!!


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