Pull the Stopper

How many screenwriters have the opportunity I have waiting for me?

Very few, I'll tell you that. 99% of wannabe screenwriters have to anonymously run the gauntlet of readers and endure coverage often written by other wannabe screenwriters before the real agent or producer ever sees the cover of their script.

I don't have to do that. I have one shot at an agent. No readers, no coverage. And he's not a fringe dude. He's sold scripts that have been directed by Ron Howard and Robert Redford. If I could list 20 movies he's handled the script for, you probably would have seen 18 of them.

Sure, he's not my agent yet. But he's related to my boss, and as I've mentioned once before here, he's confirmed that I get a free read. If it's good, it gets sold. If it sucks, I might be done.

Yet my script, wallowing on my desk in need of a serious rewrite, has hardly been touched in over two months.

What's my freakin' problem?

Fear, of course. Not really fear of the first. I'm a reasonably successful guy already, so I expect to do fairly well in life one way or another.

It's fear of the second. Fear that a guy who is known all around Hollywoodland as a dude who knows what the hell he's talking about is going to say, "Dude, you suck."

If he said, "Close, but no cigar here. Send me your next one though," I would be ecstatic. Anything better than that goes without saying.

"You suck."

I love to write. I don't think I'm the worst at stringing words together, but having flaked on my buddy Zen, I still don't know.

If this guy tells me I suck, well, then maybe I suck.

Truth be told, I wouldn't stop writing, and I have enough confidence to believe that I won't get that particular response.

So what to do? Well, my motto for years has been "Life is an adventure. Live it or die."

For the last couple of months, every time the thought came to me to get to work on my rewrite, I would throw in a disc and start playing Oblivion or Fable or somesuch.

So I bought a box today. I think it's just big enough for all my games and their little manuals. They're going in the box. And I'm not allowed to take them out of the box until I've sent my screenplay off to the agent. Wanting to play one of them is my cue to hammer on my screenplay. My new goal is to send it off by February 28th.

I hope I can go that long without my games!

There's only one way to find out. Life's an adventure. Live it or die.