Stupid Lawyer Tricks

I've now seen the I Shot My Stupid Lawyer in the Face video several times and noticed some interesting aspects of said video.

1. That fat moron is a horrible shot. He took 8 or 10 shots at the guy from two feet away and managed to what? Graze his nose?

2. That lawyer wouldn't last a day in the war zone. What kind of evasive action was that? He looked like he was playing peek-a-boo with children badly in need of ritalin. Anyone but that fat guy shooting at him would have put his brains on the sidewalk. And that little tree was no help.

3. There's a Hooter's girl in a phone booth in the background. Must have been quite a phone call. Talking to her pimp?

4. There were at least two people filming the incident. Nobody's moving in to help. On the other hand, would you?

5. The fat guy just walks away, like he'd just picked up a hot dog at the stand and was heading back to work.

6. Great action sequence when the off-duty cop (or whatever he was) tackles the fat guy.

Most say the lawyer was lucky. I have a different theory. Lawyers have no soul. Therefore, killing one has no noticable effect. There's nothing there to kill, no soul to separate from the body. Like an evil, bloodsucking zombie, he kept moving around, even when pierced with several bullets. The trip to the hospital was a ruse.

Don't you just love the world we live in? And aren't you glad that fat guy was shooting at a lawyer? I am. And I'm not going to law school. There are a lot of fat men out there with guns.